The cold air fills my chest.
My lungs gasp and burn.
A biting loneliness upon my soul–
I have forgotten the warmth of love.
There is only solitude to keep me company.
The shreds of my heart are laid bare…
For in my heart you once dwelt;
Now only your memory haunts me still.
I can feel your touch at night.
I can see your sweet smile at dawn;
Your loving embrace in every dream,
And then– your cold fierce gaze, it breaks me still.
Every cold breath of your absence stings;
Yet, It reminds me that I am alive.
For I was dead, you killed me slowly.
Now… I breathe in deep gasps of frigid life.
Life. It is better to live and feel pain.
Than to die and feel nothing.
It is better to suffer alone,
Than to be a possession of someone.
I wanted nothing but true love,
And to you I gave it.
You devoured it thoughtlessly:
Your fangs dripped with blood.
Drained of all who I was and hoped to be.
You licked your lips then asked for more.
You would have dried my bones,
And broken them underfoot as you fled.
I could see who you are,
But not until it was too late.
You would have destroyed me–
If it were not for my God.
You are a wicked woman.
The worst of them all.
For you only want what you cannot have;
Then you throw it to the dogs.
My God delivered me from the pit.
He brought up my soul.
He tore me from your choking grip,
And gave me life again.
There is no God like my God,
For He loves me with a love that is pure.
A love that brings me only joy;
A love that you could have shared.
I will breathe in this cold,
This biting wisp of ice,
Because it means I am alive again.
And my God’s love alone will suffice.
© 2013 Matthew Camphuis, all rights reserved.